Players are typically not born, they are made. I hear lots and lots of feedback from ladies about how they feel like men just date them long enough to get sex then that is the end. This definitely happens and I know that the fallout from this behavior is really painful emotionally.
Unfortunately, men who engage in this behavior are not doing it because of how they were raised or from an emotionally cold state. They begin to engage in this behavior after being burned themselves in some very painful ways.
I think it is pretty common knowledge that women are naturally looking for the best guy they can get. This is natural and even men typically want an upgrade if it is available. However, typically men will try to avoid the temptation and not push forward with finding additional options when they are in a relationship. When it comes to women, they will entertain the idea and if the man they are interested in expresses interest the process of them working toward moving from their current relationship to this new one begins.
It does not take many times of this happening for men to realize that they need to be insecure in their relationships with women. Once men go through this a couple of times, they start to reevaluate what is best for them. They start to reconsider what they really want from women. It becomes a much safer and rewarding game for them to just do what they can to get sex then move on. It is not what women want but why would they risk the pain and disappointment of a woman just moving on from them without reservation at all. When they could instead enjoy a woman for a short amount of time then move on without experiencing much pain at all.
For men keeping a woman satisfied has become more and more difficult. This is partially due to social media and partially because our culture now finds it completely acceptable for women to move from one man to the next. A woman can quickly start to feel like her man is insignificant as she looks at what social medial promotes as reality. This reality appears more appealing than the reality that she is living in within her current relationship. Naturally it seems woman have a desire for something different and something new. This coupled with the thought that their current man is not providing them with the great life, they are seeing people living on the social media platforms, takes them directly to a place where they are feeling disappointed in any relationship after a year or so. So whatever guy they currently have is left for a different guy who in the woman’s eyes has the potential to take her much closer to what she perceives as her ideal life. The man is left typically without any apology, explanation, and usually significantly poorer. After this happens a couple times if he is smart he decides that enough is enough.
He still wants to be in a romantic relationship but he has learned where that eventually leads. So he decides short term relationships are good enough to get a quick fix and satisfy his need for love, belonging, and sex.
Our culture is literally making men into players and women hate them for it. But ultimately the reason they are what they are is because women do not take care of their men. The growth of players in the dating pool is actually driven by women. This problem is only going to get worse and women are going to suffer in the long term from this problem.
I feel for women and wish that we could just all have long term committed lifelong relationships but obviously this is not where we are heading. And one of the major problems with all of this is ultimately financial. We live in a culture that requires two income households in order to maintain our standard of living. Typically men bring the most financial resources into the home. So when men and women are both single and both pressed to financially provide for themselves it is the women who suffer more. Life is more expensive for women and they typically take jobs that do not pay as well as the jobs men take.
If I were a young woman, I would find a good man and settle down with him. Do everything, I could to be helpful and stay as attractive as possible. If women would start doing this I am absolutely sure we would see a reversal in the trend of men just going with the hit it and quit it mentality. However, I don’t think women will start doing this unless we have a dramatic social shift that makes that lifestyle appealing to them. Overall this is just another trend in dating that I have seen. I don’t necessarily care for it but I do understand it.
