One of our biggest problems in the world of dating is singles do not actually meet other eligible singles. This challenge has resulted in what I am going to call the grocery store phenomenon. The grocery store phenomenon honestly started as the coffee shop phenomenon and has evolved as our culture has gotten more reclusive.
A few years ago the people who were not into bars or perhaps just didn’t want to go out alone would go to a coffee shop and hope to have a chance meeting with a great partner. That has evolved and moved from the coffee shop to the grocery store. The coffee shop phenomenon kind of worked because people could dwell in a coffee shop for multiple days and eventually get the chance to strike up a conversation with someone they saw there regularly. It was reasonable that you would get to know someone who you sat near on multiple occasions. Some familiarity could ease the social awkwardness of the first meeting and there was a possibility of getting to know someone slowly.
As we have evolved as a culture the coffee shop phenomenon really stopped working. People have a tenancy to just stay home. This problem spans the full gamut of social interaction possibilities for all singles now. People do not go out and try new things, they will commit to going to social engagements and not show up, and finally they will even make arrangements for a date and flake at the last minute.
Our culture of reclusiveness that is enabled by social media and streaming services is here now and is not going to leave.
Thus, the grocery store phenomenon has been born. The grocery store is the one and only place that you can go and meet new people whom you would not get the chance to meet in real life. Unfortunately, the possibility of meeting someone who you feel mutual attraction for as you are grocery shopping is very very slim. Most people who are grocery shopping did not go there to meet people and have a conversation. There is a strong occurrence of stranger danger that would not exist if it were not for the fact that the two people trying to interact there are indeed strangers and have had no time to get comfortable in the presence of each other.
Even when meeting in a bar there is usually a period of time where two people notice each other and have a little time to be with their friends and consider a meeting in a safe place for at least a bit. The coffee shop was something more gentle because you could see the same person over the course of multiple days and feel safe and comfortable talking to them. In the grocery store two random strangers talking and making a real connection is only going to work if both people are outgoing and feeling an instant attraction to each other. Let me remind you that the possibility of this happening are very rare.
As a culture of single people we need to be more involved and outside our homes for most of our day to facilitate and meet lots of new people. Everyone wants to be in a great relationship but we all know the main problem with having that great relationship is finding it. The only way to remedy this problem for our culture is to do it as individuals. Take initiative and do things that are new and maybe even a little scary. Sign up for events then force yourself to show up. You never know who you may meet. Put yourself in positions where you see new people as a recurrence and get the opportunity to know people as you see them multiple times. Finding that relationship will not be easy but getting out of your house greatly improves the chances you will find someone.
